Sunday marked the 3-year anniversary of the day I filed for divorce. In those 3 years I have grown tremendously; I completed a master’s degree and began a career in my chosen field, all while single handedly caring for two young children. I have no family in this area and very little support. When I need a break I have to hire a babysitter, which is an extravagance that I can’t afford very often.
As a result of this, my dating life has been non-existent. For most of the past 3 years dating has been the last thing on my mind. I’ve been busy and tired. Far too many other things were going on for me to even think about dating or the fact that I was lonely. Now that the pace of my life has slowed down a bit, I have realized that having someone to share things with would be nice. I miss being in a relationship, and I’d like to be in one again.
I got married when I was 22. I met my ex when I was in college. I have never dated as an adult. I don’t know the first thing about dating or about dating as a single mom.
While looking for ways to to do things for myself I noticed that my town’s adult education program was offering a course on dating. This seemed like just the thing I needed to push me into the world of dating. I have to admit that I have dabbled with online dating, but have had less than stellar results for a multitude of reasons (most of which are my own fault). So I went to this class for two nights and learned quite a bit. I learned of the many singles events that are offered in my area, how to write a dating profile and many little tricks that will come in handy.
I entered the class with a silent commentary running through my head I’m 30-years-old, divorced, a single mom of two young children, no man is going to want to date me. When I had finished the class that commentary had been replaced with I’m 30-years old, I’m beautiful, and intelligent, an excellent mother. Who wouldn’t want to date me?
Most importantly, I realized that the key to dating is as simple as being confident in yourself.
I still haven’t had my first date, but I’m working on it.
WOW! What a great post! I’m so thrilled that you are venturing out to date. You go with that wonderful positive attitude!!
Thanks for following me on Twitter. Hope to get to read more here too!
I think it’s easy to get hung up on the whole “I’m a single mom and no one wants that kind of baggage” thing, but you know, the older we get, the odds that we’re going to have kids (or meet someone with kids of their own) is going to continue to go up. There are lots of single parents out there in the dating world.
I dated someone a few times (we’ve since become friends) who is a little bit younger than me, and doesn’t have kids. He said that one of the things that he likes about single moms is that we have a much better handle on what our priorities are in life. I think he raised a good point.
Good luck in your dating adventures! I think the important part is to not put too much pressure on yourself and just have fun with it. The right person will come along eventually, but in the meantime, it’s good to just have fun…
we have our own ups and downs but the most important thing is to keep moving and attaining your ultimate personal greatness. When you’ve reach for it everything follows. http://www.singlesguidetogreatness.com
I got married when I was 20. So dating as an adult was a completely new experience for me. One my way to my first date I called several friends FREAKING OUT. Turns out I had a great time, I wasn’t interested and eventually had to ignore him until he quit calling (not my finest moment). But dating again has actually been a hard, scary, fun, exhilerating experience.
And you are a great catch!!
I LOVE this post! So true to many single mothers!!!
I think this revelation is what will be the key to your success! I used to think the very same way, and now that I know exactly what I have to offer, the guys won’t leave me alone!
I think the majority of attraction is based on attitude, and you will start learning how many guys out there want someone with your background and ability.