As soon as I made the decision to divorce my ex I removed my wedding ring and engagement rings from my finger. I placed them on the jewelry box in my bureau and haven’t given them much thought since.
Now that the dust has cleared and the divorce is final I find myself wondering what to do with this jewelry. Not only do I have the wedding rings, but also the jewelry that my ex gave me as gifts over the course of our 5 year marriage. There is the diamond heart shaped pendant that was a first anniversary gift, a gorgeous amethyst and diamond pendant that was a Valentine’s Day gift, another heart shaped necklace that marked our first Christmas together as well as other pieces from birthdays and holidays. I can’t bear to wear this jewelry. They are all beautiful pieces that are just my style, but now, to me, they are constant reminders of our failed marriage.
I’ve discussed this with friends… some say I should pawn it all, others say I should save it for my daughters, one told me I should trade up for something else to pamper myself with.
None of this jewelry is worth much monetarily and I know that selling or pawning it would be fruitless.
Part of me thinks that I should save it all for my daughters. But then when I think of it — why would they want mementos from their parent’s failed marriage?
What did you do with your marital bling?
What would you do if you were in my position?
For now, I just hold on to it.
I have saved the rings for my girls when they get older. Most of the other stuff I let them wear and it has eventually disappeared. They enjoy wearing grown up jewelry and I haven’t been upset when it got lost.
I can say from my own personal experiance ( single mother coming from a single mother) that my mother saved everything that my dad had given to her and she gave them to me through out my life. When I was 14 she gave me the first ring he had ever gave her, when I was 16 it was another and then when I was 21 I got their wedding ring. I have worn everything except their wedding ring but I am glad I have it. Some of the rings she had reset into something other then what it was but she always told me when giving me the “bling” where and when she got it. Having my mom and dad’s failed relationship bling does mean something to me and so I vow to do the same for my own daughter. The one thing I will suggest is to put it away, out of sight. I had my wedding ring in my box with my everyday wear and seeing it daily was just too much for me so I went to the bank and put it into the safe deposit box, and that is where it will be till my daughter is old enough for it and I made a vow to myself that I would not look at it till then. You will regret selling it.
I removed my engagement ring when he said “We needed a break.” I still wore it around my neck for the next 9 months, trying to make it work, but he was LONNGGG gone. When he finally told me “He never really loved me,” I pawned the ring and got the mere $100 he paid for it.
At least now I know what I was worth in his eyes. At least I never mrried him.
Although I was never ‘technically’ married, I did over the years received a few trinkets. I brought them in to the jewelers, had the stones removed and redesigned a few pieces for myself…I made them my own.
In twenty years, you might look back on your marriage and be happy and grateful that it brought some wonderful offspring into the world. So, in twenty years, will you want to have that bling as a memory?
If I had daughters, I would keep it for them. For my son, I kept our wedding album. I don’t know what I will do with my rings.
I have considered all of your (very helpful!) comments and given this a lot of thought. I think that the reason I have put off doing anything with the jewelry until now is because I am worried that I will make a rash decision and then regret it. At piece of me has always known that getting rid of the jewelry would be wrong.
So, I am going to hold on to all of it and as my girls get older give the jewelry to them. The jewelry may not have sentimental value to me any longer, but it will be meaningful to them and will be the only reminder of their parents’ marriage that they will ever have.
Since you have so much maybe you can save some and trade in a couple for something nice. I don’t know what happened to my mom’s old rings but I’d love to have them – I treasure my grandma’s original wedding rings – just because I love her!
I was engaged once before my marriage that ultimately ended in divorce. My ex fiance was nice enough to give back the ring, which I greatly appreciated. I held on to it for 6 months or so not sure what to do with it. Finally, I took it to an upscale pawn shop and got only 20% of what I paid for it!!! Granted, I bought it a full retail, which I vowed never to do again. Still, that seemed awfully low. I’ve since met a friend who does just this type of thing for a living. The company he works for, Circa, buys surplus and estate jewelry and remarkets it to dealers. Kind of a sub wholesaler. Whether your looking to sell or need to buy, they give great deals. The website is http://www.circajewels.com. Worth checking into.