I am so angry with my ex right now. Usually our co-parenting goes quite smoothly. He defers to me on most of the important parenting issues, such as decisions regarding their education and health care. We have a custody agreement that works for both of us and we are flexible if something comes up. I have primary custody. He has visits with the girls one afternoon a week and every other weekend. Unfortunately, he’s begun flaking out on his visits with increasing frequency. This weekend marked my 5th weekend with them. He has canceled for a variety of reasons over the past several months. On the weekends he does have them he inevitably shortens his visits drastically (think picking them up on Saturday morning and returning them Sunday morning rather than having them from Friday evening through Sunday evening). None of his excuses are good ones.
This weekend he was out of town for work, which is out of his control and an acceptable excuse in my book. He came home late last night and we had agreed that he would see the girls today. But he never called. All day my daughters were anxiously awaiting their visit with their father. We called him 3 times with no answer. I finally convinced Sweetie that we could leave the house and do something fun because Daddy could call my cell phone.
He finally called around dinner time. Sweetie said, “Daddy we called you 3 times!!” His response, “Oh I must have been taking a nap”. Are you kidding me? I know that the real reason he flaked out today was because his football team was playing. It’s always nice to put a game before your own children.
He has no idea that his actions (or lack thereof) have a huge impact on the girls. They are so grateful and happy to see him that it never occurs to him that they may be in distress when he isn’t around. I tried discussing this with him before and his answer was “well, they’re happy to see me now”. As if that makes his absences OK.
I am absolutely livid with him right now. Sweetie was so upset that it was nearly impossible to console her. Cutie is more chill about this sort of thing; she’s happy to see him, but doesn’t care much when he skips a visit. Of course, she’s only 3, as she gets older his absences will make more of an impression on her.
I’m generally a fairly laid back person. I rarely get very angry. But watching my daughter in pain because of her careless father really set me off. Mess with my kids and this Mama Bear is poised and ready to attack!
I’m also annoyed that because of his laziness I never get a break. It’s me and the kids non-stop. I have no family to help out and hiring a babysitter is an extravagance that I simply can’t afford right now. My social life is non-existent at this point. I can’t even make plans because he cancels at the last minute so often.
I love being with my children and I am trying to cherish the extra time with them, but I really need some “me” time so that I can recharge my battery before I become completely burnt out. Fortunately, my parents will be visiting next weekend so at least I will have a little more help than usual.
Blogging is cathartic. I feel a bit better now that I got all that out.
